For Men: Making the Connection

So you think you're finally ready to approach some ladies using an online dating site? The prospect of having thousands of women out there for you to step to is exciting but the fact of the matter is there are also thousands of men trying to take your spot at the top of the email list... Women like to be approached by men rather than making the first move. Whether you're walking down the block or trying to connect online, the more attractive the woman, the more men will be beating down her door. So how can you make your approach more effective than the next guy? What makes your email different than the other 35 they will receive today? The most important thing I've learned is that just like any other interaction, first impressions matter.

"The Shotgun"

With this strategy you are trying to approach any woman who meets your basic criteria (weight, height, income, education, etc). Rather than taking the time to read every profile carefully, quickly check the basics. Cut and paste your standard email and move on to the next prospect. The sheer volume of women you can step to makes this approach effective and efficient.

Since your email will most likely not include anything memorable, you need to make sure the information on your profile is game tight. Your pictures should be on point (regardless of the strategy pictures are always the most important part of an online dating profile), your words spelled correctly, sentences formed properly, and so on. No woman wants to date someone who is illiterate.

"The Rifle"

With this approach you want to target women with whom you think there is serious potential. Why? Because you're going to take the time to read every single word on their profiles. It takes discipline to read everything some women have to say.

By reading all this information you should be better equipped to write a thoughtful, heartfelt email that will sweep her off her feet. You can even do additional research to show her you share the same interests. For example, she lists Prince as her favorite musician. You do a little research and realize that Prince's birthday is the same as yours... That's gonna get you some serious brownie points.

"How do you hunt?"

You may think the strategy you choose is dependent upon what you're looking for. Someone in the market for wifey may be very picky in deciding who he wants to approach. Someone looking for something a little more casual may not care if the woman likes dogs or is willing to watch football on Sundays.

That being said, there are merits to both approaches, so I suggest finding a middle ground, what I call the "Modified Shotgun" approach.

"The Modified Shotgun"

This strategy combines the two. It allows you to approach quite a few women but also includes a little customization in your email.. Here's how it works...

Unless something really catches your eye, skim the profile quickly. As you read her profile, look for basic information where you may have a connection (school, music, travel, food, etc.). Keep your email short and to the point. Cut and paste your standardized introduction but make sure to throw her a loop at the end. Questions about one of their interests ("Did you ever see the video where Prince, Michael Jackson & James Brown were on stage together?") or comments that are a little confrontational ("You know Stevie Wonder is better than Prince") will make the woman feel compelled to respond. That when real fun begins.

Once you've got the hook in you can take the time to display your arsenal of mack game talent.

By Our Staff for


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